Dear Home Secretary

I'm too jittery to natter today.

I've never been minded to ask you before,and forgive me if I'm overstepping the mark, but do you support Obama?

In my view, he is wonderful.  I am praying for him to win.  And I'm not even a practicing Catholic anymore.

That probably makes me a heretic.  But this heretic is hopeful.  

I remain, as ever, your most humble admirer.  

PS.  Forgive my distraction, you are still my Numero Uno 

(Do you like my multicultural reference? I think you'll appreciate it, because you are inclusive like that.  And even if you're not, I meant it as EU Spanish, not that pesky South American kind)

Dear Home Secretary

Whew, what a day!  I work for the Government also, and it is super tiring, isn't it?

Although, I suppose you work for the people, not the Government.  Such is my exhaustion, my Dear Home Secretary, the comparisons that I could draw between your role and mine are probably best left for another day.

Just a quick note, to check in.  Do you know, I read last week that the Government Chief Whip informed the House that they must have shorter questions and answers during Question Time.  And then, perhaps even on the same day, I read that your right Honorable friend Mr Woolas said that immigration policy needed to presented in a way that the average Sun reader could understand it.

Not to come across as a conspiracy theorist or anything, but shorter questions and shorter answers = sound bites.  Sound bites = Journalists with not much time, and a pretty low salary.  Journalists with not much time, and a pretty low salary = Sun headline editors.  

Until next time, I remain ,your most humble admirer.

P.S.  I hope this week is easier.  Those Lords gave you a pretty hard time last week.

Dear Home Secretary

How are you this fine Sunday?  Do you have any plans?  I am sure that notwithstanding your extremely tough week, you are somewhere in your constituency, working with your people.  I know this, because that is just how you roll.

Did you hear about Sarah Palin's little faux pas in the day just gone?  I must insist that you listen to the audio file of the conversation, it will undoubtedly bring about the giggles.  

I am sure that you would never fall for such a prank.    

Although, this week you did almost believe, during your evidence session at the Joint Committee on Human Rights, that the Chair accepted your argument!  But, you were smart enough to put that proposition to him and things were cleared up in no time!  You're a cheeky little monkey, aren't you?

I know that you will take my comments in jest my dear Home Secretary, because as you pointed out to your honorable friend Mr Shephard in the very same committee meeting, one's use of language and their actual position are two separate things.  

With warmest wishes, and until next time, I remain, your most humble admirer.